The System (Part I)

The System

It sits empty all week long. Maybe an evening a week it’s visited and every Sunday morning it’s full. It’s where so many good things happen. People get married, people become friends, grow together and learn, they pour their hearts out to each other and cry together. Sad things happen too. Like funerals. They bury the dead in a plot of land beside it and mark the deceased with a stone to remember them by.

It’s more then a building, it’s like a system and it’s supposed to work for everyone.

I started off as a regular Sunday school kid. I learned all the songs, memorized the verses and earned my stickers just like everyone else. Then also just like everyone else I “gave my heart to Jesus” at just the prime age and was baptized at exactly the right time. I never skipped communion, I rarely sat on the back pew and I even kept notes of the sermons.

But it seems like I blinked and missed something important. I failed the system. But to me it seems like the system failed me.

I hate church, it makes me bleed.

It hurts like hell.

But what really happened? What is reality? I have more questions then I have life to find answers for. At this rate I’ll die with them or they will kill me.


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